tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18358607074836082272024-03-13T23:17:23.728-07:00Blabbergasted: Linguistic Faux PasBlabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-41047161599421824062014-02-18T05:54:00.000-08:002014-02-18T20:34:50.657-08:00Two Smelling (or Smelly?) Wives<br />
It's been ages since the last post, but I heard such a good one yesterday that I had to share:<br />
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My friend and her husband were having a difficult conversation with their Chinese hosts about how they needed to move out, and the man kept saying, "You can smell with my wife?" and "You and my wife can smell together?"<br />
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<a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/user/BlabbergastedBlog/media/Smelling.jpg.html" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Woman Smelling Perfume photo Smelling.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/Smelling.jpg" /></a>There were ten minutes of awkward back-and-forth conversation while they tried to figure out what he meant until finally they realized that instead of "smell," he meant "smile." Apparently that was his way of saying that they could agree and be satisfied.<br />
<br />Michelle Glauserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01646213573761736892noreply@blogger.com1China35.86166 104.1953969999999635.86166 104.19539699999996 35.86166 104.19539699999996tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-54422656777751812382013-02-07T07:54:00.000-08:002013-02-07T07:54:26.121-08:00Google Translate ComedyI can't cease to be amused by this:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7DvD4tuDZvg" width="500"></iframe>
Michelle Glauserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01646213573761736892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-1315020794138654702013-01-02T09:29:00.002-08:002013-01-02T09:29:31.185-08:00Give Crap for ChristmasA few weeks ago, in the car with Michael, I saw this (or some version of it):<br />
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<a href="http://s191.beta.photobucket.com/user/MichemilyG/media/Blog/giftwrapwonderland_zps3a4e40a3.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z72/MichemilyG/Blog/giftwrapwonderland_zps3a4e40a3.jpg" /></a><br />
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Michelle: "Gift wrap wonderland, huh."<br />
Michael: "Huh?"<br />
Michelle: "That's what it said on the ad for The Container Store."<br />
Michael: "Why would they call it that?"<br />
Michelle: "For Christmas . . . ? What do you mean?"<br />
Michael: "Give crap wonderland?"<br />
Michelle: "Ah, no. Gift. Wrap. Wonderland."<br />
Michael: "Yeah, that makes more sense."Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-22917179047116100282012-09-18T08:56:00.003-07:002012-09-18T08:57:08.757-07:00Avoid Molesting<a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=StrangerDanger.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="196" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/StrangerDanger.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">My brother served a Spanish-speaking religious mission in San Diego, then moved to Utah. Shortly afterward he was working late one night, and his fema</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">le manager offered him a ride home since he didn't have a car. He said, "Are you sure? I don't want to molest you." He was mortified and explained about the use of "molestar" as soon as he realized the mistake, but they were very uncomfortable around each other for a few days.</span>
Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-58519162275689294172012-09-13T07:45:00.000-07:002012-09-13T07:45:17.773-07:00Evil Chinese Dumplings<div>
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<a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=jalapeno-cream-cheese-wontons.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="212" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/jalapeno-cream-cheese-wontons.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Once when the missionaries were speaking in church, one talked about the "wanton evilness of the world," except he pronounced it WONTON. Luckily we were sitting in the foyer because I started laughing so hard I ended up coughing and choking thinking about evil Chinese dumplings.</div>
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<div style="text-align: right;">
-Jennifer Sauls</div>
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Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-74143742817518940792012-06-22T05:00:00.000-07:002012-06-22T05:00:02.116-07:00Masseuse Missionaries<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=DagnyinBrazil.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Dagny in Brazil" border="0" height="150" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/DagnyinBrazil.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting ready to give a massage.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As a missionary teaching in Portugese:<br />
<br />
Me: Temos uma massagem para voce. (We have a <i>massage</i> for you.)<br />
Other missionary: Quer dizer <i>mensagem</i>? (Do you mean <i>message</i>?)<br />
Me: Oh, yeah. <br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.dagnykelsey.blogspot.com/">-Dagny Kelsey</a><br />
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<br /></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0Denver, CO, USA39.7391536 -104.984703439.5437941 -105.3005604 39.934513100000004 -104.6688464tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-38480006944506783852012-06-15T05:00:00.000-07:002012-06-15T08:27:19.145-07:00Chubby with a Good ConstitutionMixing languages can make for some pretty humorous situations, such as the following from <i>Love Actually</i> (sorry for the bad language in the first clip and the horrible quality of the second):<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DsugPaXH4kA" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/CsMPYfO9MJg" width="420"></iframe><br />
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Thanks to <a href="http://www.facebook.com/michael.c.tsai" target="_blank">Michael Tsai</a> for the submission.Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com2Hollywood, Los Angeles, CA, USA34.0928092 -118.328661434.066510199999996 -118.36814340000001 34.1191082 -118.2891794tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-54942963938785932502012-06-13T05:00:00.000-07:002012-06-13T05:00:10.497-07:00Singing in Pain<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=diverticulitis-symptoms.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="320" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/diverticulitis-symptoms.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is <a href="http://www.dietsfordiverticulitis.net/commonsymptomsofdiverticulitis/" target="_blank">Diverticulitis</a> what you get from eating Korean food?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">My father speaks Korean, and he taught me to say "baega parumnidah" (</span><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;">내 배가 부르고있다), </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">a cute, folksy expression to say that the food was very good (literally, it means, "My stomach is singing"). </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">One time I was eating at a Korean restaurant with my father.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The food was very good, so when the Korean owner asked how I liked the food, I confidently said my phrase. The owner frowned and had a sincere look of concern on her face. Turns out, what came out of my mouth was a lot closer to "baega apahabnidah"</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> (</span><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;">배가 큰 고통입니다),</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> whi</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">ch means, "My stomach is in great pain."</span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">-<a href="http://www.facebook.com/joel.roman1" target="_blank">Joel Roman</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #777777; font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small; line-height: 19px;">To help with our Korean, (Google Translate isn't always the best), email us at blabbergastedblog AT gmail DOT com. </span></span><span style="color: #777777; font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 19px;">Also, sorry for the delay in posts. Hopefully we'll be back up and posting regularly. Please send us your stories or ask your friends for stories to share with us!</span></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0California, USA36.778261 -119.417932430.278364 -129.5253544 43.278158 -109.3105104tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-17387002784847976622012-05-28T05:00:00.000-07:002012-05-28T05:00:04.316-07:00TMI<div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=baby-scratching-head.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="261" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/baby-scratching-head.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.neotechproducts.com/jan6confirm/attachment/baby-scratching-head" target="_blank">Did you say what I think you just said</a>?</td></tr>
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While serving a Mormon mission in the Philippines, I was transferred to another of 80 islands that spoke a different dialect. When I tried to explain that I did not understand
their dialect with the one that I roughly knew, I actually said (in a
very crude and broken up way) that I had very little pubic hair.</div>
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<div style="text-align: right;">
-<a href="http://www.facebook.com/mtseats">Sean Holcomb </a></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0Philippines12.879721 121.7740174.98013 111.666595 20.779312 131.881439tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-6733671869924337312012-05-25T05:00:00.000-07:002012-05-25T05:00:05.646-07:00Show Me Your Fleas<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=5682425123_706d581d7b_z.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="213" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/5682425123_706d581d7b_z.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/beartrack/5682425123/" target="_blank">Not a flea</a>.</td></tr>
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One day while walking with someone, I
decided to do a thumbs up and say, "pulgas arriba." My friend proceeded to
laugh and hold up his hands, pinching his index finger and thumb
together as if holding an extremely small object while saying, "pulgas
arriba." Turns out, the word for thumb is "pulgar," and "pulgas" means "fleas."<br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">
-<a href="http://www.facebook.com/tnewmano" target="_blank">Trent Newman </a></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0Argentina-38.416097 -63.616672-51.1281395 -83.831516 -25.704054499999998 -43.401828tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-44263078674310581892012-05-16T05:00:00.000-07:002012-05-16T15:08:44.026-07:00The Proper Care and Feeding of Old Women<a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=meals-on-wheels-logo.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.ctkelc.org/thisweek/2012/tw120122.html" border="0" height="225" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/meals-on-wheels-logo.jpg" width="320" /></a>While teaching in Spanish about Peter's conversation with Christ, I accurately said, "Feed my sheep" the first two times, but the third time, "sheep" ("ovejas") came out as "viejas." According to my words, Peter was told to feed "my old women."<br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">
-Elder Douglas Higham (thanks to <a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=193305552" target="_blank">Alyson Morris</a> and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000190782473" target="_blank">Lawrence Severson</a> for clearing up sources)</div>
<br />Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0South America-8.783195 -55.491477-62.832409 -136.350852 45.266019 25.367897999999997tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-71590621971982604032012-05-14T05:00:00.000-07:002012-05-14T11:52:10.650-07:00Only One Way Out of This Mess<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://thebrowntweedsociety.com/2010/04/16/mistaken-first-impressions-1/" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="http://thebrowntweedsociety.com/2010/04/16/mistaken-first-impressions-1/" border="0" height="267" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/seinfeld_2d00_parking_2d00_garage.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://thebrowntweedsociety.com/2010/04/16/mistaken-first-impressions-1/" target="_blank">Start Looking</a>.</td></tr>
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Two missionaries parked their car on a street in Germany before going to a meeting. Upon leaving the meeting, they could no longer find their car and called a local church member in hopes that he could look up the name of the street where they parked and direct them to it. Proud that they had at least taken note of the name of the street, they announced to the local member, "It was on Einbahnstraße." Little did they know that "Einbahnstraße" means "one-way street."<br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">
-<a href="http://michelleglauser.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Michelle Glauser</a><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
And a Blabbergasted personal side note: <a href="http://michelleglauser.blogspot.com/2012/05/wearing-red-for-autumn-and-pleas.html" target="_blank">co-founder Autumn is having surgery today</a>. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.</div>
</div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0Germany51.165691 10.45152646.068616500000005 0.34410399999999974 56.2627655 20.558948tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-87496927967194187982012-05-11T05:00:00.001-07:002012-05-11T05:00:15.706-07:00Wives Are People, Too<a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=122027_D_0056_ful.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.ontheredcarpet.com/photos/The-Bachelor-Brad-Womack----Meet-the-30-women-contestants/7857271" border="0" height="213" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/122027_D_0056_ful.jpg" width="320" /></a>One missionary was talking to someone about the Mormon church and he wanted to say, "We have a lot of people in the church." Instead of saying, "Žmonių" ("people"), he said, "Žmonų," so his claim turned into, "We have a lot of wives." <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<img src="http://static.ak.fbcdn.net/images/blank.gif" title=":D" />
-<a href="http://www.facebook.com/LinaBlume" target="_blank">Lina Blume</a></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0Latvia56.879635 24.60318954.6581215 19.549478 59.1011485 29.6569tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-69368888785612582202012-05-11T05:00:00.000-07:002012-05-11T05:00:18.645-07:00Difficult Child<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=SunnyMistTanningBanner.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="227" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/SunnyMistTanningBanner.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Either a little devil or a <a href="http://pageanthorrors.tumblr.com/post/8952010973/so-why-are-each-and-every-one-of-them-tanned-i-thought">child star</a> . . . </td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">This girl I knew had a less-than-spectacular grasp of French. Someone asked her a question. She didn’t understand the whole sentence but got that she was being asked what she liked to do, so she answered, "Oh you know, shopping, tanning, going to night clubs and getting drunk.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">“You did that when you were a kid?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">“Ohhhh. no.”</span>
<br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">-<a href="http://www.facebook.com/joel.roman1">Joel Roman</a></span></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-3845378925217553022012-05-09T05:00:00.000-07:002012-05-09T05:00:02.245-07:00Schedule Your Arguments<a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=arguing.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="http://hsdboardmember.wordpress.com/category/board-meeting-news/" border="0" height="216" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/arguing.png" width="320" /></a>During my first week as a missionary in northern Argentina, I discovered that the Spanish I learned in five years of Spanish class didn't necessarily line up with colloquial usage. I found this out when I approached a man sitting in front of his house, and asked if my companion and I could share a message with his family. He protested that he didn't have time, and I asked, "¿Podríamos pasar por su casa para <i>discutir</i> el tema más adelante?" I thought I had asked if we could stop by to discuss our message later, but after we left, my companion informed me that the word I thought meant "discuss" meant "argue" instead. <br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
-<a href="http://not-atamelion.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Michael H</a>.</div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0Argentina-38.416097 -63.616672-51.1281395 -83.831516 -25.704054499999998 -43.401828tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-63811455393484727262012-05-07T05:00:00.000-07:002012-05-07T05:00:08.391-07:00Beware of Big Spoons<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2ggI07S8v3E" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
A companion and I were held up at knifepoint one night in Spain. My very frightened companion called our district leader (a native Spaniard) to tell him what happened. <br />
<br />
What she meant to say was, "Un hombre nos atacó con un <i>cuchillo</i> muy grande!" ("A man attacked us with a big knife!")<br />
<br />
What she actually said was, "Un hombre nos atacó con una <i>cuchara</i> muy grande!" ("A man attacked us with a big spoon!")<br />
<br />
His response: "So? What's the problem?"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
-<a href="http://www.facebook.com/melissa.stringham" target="_blank">Melissa Stringham</a></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com2Spain40.463667 -3.7492234.283161 -13.856642 46.644173 6.3582019999999995tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-9428723432246763462012-05-04T05:00:00.000-07:002012-05-04T05:00:12.565-07:00Nursing Embarrassment Joke<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=leo-cullum-good-news-the-test-results-show-it-s-a-metaphor-new-yorker-cartoon.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="240" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/leo-cullum-good-news-the-test-results-show-it-s-a-metaphor-new-yorker-cartoon.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.condenaststore.com/-sp/Good-news-The-test-results-show-it-s-a-metaphor-New-Yorker-Cartoon-Prints_i8479068_.htm" target="_blank">Test results</a>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
A male patient is in a bed in the hospital with an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose and is still heavily
sedated from an operation. A young nurse appears in his
room to check up on him.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind his mask, "are my testicles
black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies," I don't know, I'm only
here to check your stats." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown,
takes a close look, and says, "There's nothing wrong with them!" The man removes his oxygen mask and says very slowly,
"Are--my--test--results--back?"Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-24903107242872945552012-05-02T05:00:00.000-07:002012-05-02T05:00:17.946-07:00Barf: For Fresh-Smelling Clothes<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=Barf.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="320" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/Barf.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.uncorneredmarket.com/photos/picture/1091115405/" target="_blank">Barf</a>: for fresh-smelling clothes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Apparently, Armenian laundry detergent has a Farsi name that is funny in English.<br />
<br />
"Barf" means "snow" in Farsi. <br />
<br />
<br />Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0Armenia40.069099 45.03818938.5137815 42.511333500000006 41.6244165 47.5650445tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-66025808426661431282012-04-23T05:00:00.000-07:002012-04-23T05:00:09.301-07:00Hot Peanuts<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=peanut-butter-hot-chocolate.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="200" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/peanut-butter-hot-chocolate.jpg" width="144" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.babble.com/best-recipes/kids-cooking/warm-winter-drink-recipes-kids/?page=11">The recipe</a>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The French word for chocolate is<i> chocolat</i>, which basically amounts to saying chocolate in a French accent. This girl in my class had a brain fart and instead of saying "chocolat," said "cacahuette," which led to this interesting exchange:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">“I’ll get you something. What do you like to drink?”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">“I like to drink hot peanuts.”</span>
<br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">-<a href="http://www.facebook.com/joel.roman1">Joel Roman</a></span></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-33481466331325677732012-04-20T05:00:00.000-07:002012-04-20T05:00:00.490-07:00A New Compliment<a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=PetiteBites.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/PetiteBites.jpg" /></a>In French, "petite bites" means "small dick."<br />
<br />
Thanks to <a href="http://www.facebook.com/john.gough" target="_blank">John Gough</a> for pointing out this ad.Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com1United States37.09024 -95.712891-40.4827905 102.56835899999999 90 66.005859tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-30505444585750100232012-04-18T05:00:00.000-07:002012-04-18T05:00:09.008-07:00The Language of Love<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=amelie-in-bed.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="258" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/amelie-in-bed.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://theatticstairs.blogspot.com/2011/02/movie-of-month-amelie.html" target="_blank">Amelie</a>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
When I was about 17, we had a
French exchange student come to live with us. During our first
conversation, he asked me if I
knew any French. I
began singing my one French line, "<span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="fr"><span class="hps">Voulez-vous</span> <span class="hps">coucher avec moi</span> <span class="hps">ce soir?</span></span>"<span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="fr"><span class="hps"> </span></span>I
was so proud of myself until he burst out laughing. He proceeded to ask me if I knew
what it meant, which I obviously didn't. So he said, "Do you want to sleep
with me tonight?" After that, I was creeped out when he
would ever so quietly hang out in my room before bedtime each night and
just smile and look at me.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
-<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=861855034" target="_blank">Jen Christensen </a></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com2United States37.09024 -95.712891-37.085272999999994 102.56835899999999 90 66.005859tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-57344522134772697532012-04-16T05:00:00.000-07:002012-04-16T05:00:21.869-07:00Group Nap Time<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=MissionariesleaveJune2010003.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Missionary Napping, http://timandjeanniefry.blogspot.com/2010/06/missionaries-leave-june-2010.html" border="0" height="240" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/MissionariesleaveJune2010003.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&amp;current=MissionariesleaveJune2010003.jpg%22%20target=%22_blank%22%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/MissionariesleaveJune2010003.jpg%22%20border=%220%22%20alt=%22Missionary%20Napping,%20http://timandjeanniefry.blogspot.com/2010/06/missionaries-leave-june-2010.html%22%3E%3C/a%3E">Directed to the couch</a>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Missionaries in Germany were invited to join a family for dinner after church one Sunday.<br />
<br />
Upon completion of the meal, the mother of the family pushed back her chair and said, "I'm going to go take a nap in my room."<br />
<br />
A newer missionary responded: "I'll come with."<br />
<br />
The father of the family immediately responded with, "No, you won't!"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
-<a href="http://germanyfromanamericanperspective.blogspot.com/">Michelle Glauser</a></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com1Leipzig, Germany51.3490384 12.393822651.1903639 12.0779656 51.507712899999994 12.7096796tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-55853536043554725512012-04-13T05:00:00.000-07:002012-04-13T05:00:18.997-07:00Sacrament and Defilement<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=don_t-look.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="213" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/don_t-look.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">One Sunday during church in Italy, a newer American missionary was blessing the bread for the sacrament. In Italian, the sacramental blessing on the bread should be said:</span></div>
<div style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">
<div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: small;">"Ti chiediamo . . . di benedire e santificare questo <b>pane </b>. . ."</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: small;">(We ask thee . . . to bless and sanctify this bread . . .) </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: small;">However, as new missionaries tend to do, he struggled with the pronunciation of "pane," thus saying:</span></div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">"Ti chiediamo . . . di benedire e santificare questo <b>pene </b>. . ." </span></div>
<div style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">(We ask thee . . . to bless and sanctify this penis . . .)</span></div>
<div style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Needless to say, he was asked to start over.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.918); color: #222222; font-family: inherit; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/Murphdurt">Dave Murphy</a></span></div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com1Italy41.87194 12.5673835.826312 2.4599580000000003 47.917568 22.674802tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-14635634073553235642012-04-11T05:00:00.000-07:002012-04-11T05:00:00.127-07:00For Sale: Baptisms<a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=I-LAN.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="320" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/I-LAN.jpg" width="216" /></a>I knew a missionary in Taiwan who meant to ask if he could use the
restroom (xǐshǒujiān or <span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="zh-TW"><span class="alt-edited">洗手間</span></span><span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="zh-TW"><span class="alt-edited">)</span></span>, but mixed up the two similar sounding words and said "baptism
store" (shòuxǐ diàn <span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="zh-TW"><span class="alt-edited">or </span></span><span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="zh-TW"><span class="alt-edited">受洗</span></span><span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="zh-TW"><span class="">店</span></span><span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="zh-TW"><span class="alt-edited">)</span></span> instead. <br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
-Delores DeVictoria</div>Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0Taiwan23.69781 120.96051519.977947 115.906804 27.417673 126.01422600000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1835860707483608227.post-59763492604660329762012-04-09T05:00:00.000-07:002012-04-10T16:28:51.995-07:00A Laugh for the Landlord (Submitter Mystery Solved!)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/?action=view&current=playball-g.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="320" src="http://i1181.photobucket.com/albums/x436/BlabbergastedBlog/playball-g.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://in-internet.net/childrens-rooms/565-childrens-rooms-boys-play-ball-bedding.html" target="_blank">The never-solved problem.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My (female) missionary companion in Spain called our landlord to let him know there was a problem with our mattresses. What she meant to say was, "Hay un problema con nuestros colchones" ("There is a problem with our mattresses"). What she actually said was, "Hay un problema con nuestros cojones" ("There is a problem with our balls"). The landlord laughed so hard and long that my companion finally had to hang up the phone. The mattress problem was never solved.<br />
<br />
-<a href="http://www.facebook.com/melissa.stringham" target="_blank">Melissa Stringham</a> (mystery solved!)<br />
<br />Blabber and Gastedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12135371472100462637noreply@blogger.com0Spain40.463667 -3.7492234.283161 -13.856642 46.644173 6.3582019999999995