Masseuse Missionaries

Getting ready to give a massage.

As a missionary teaching in Portugese:

Me: Temos uma massagem para voce. (We have a massage for you.)
Other missionary: Quer dizer mensagem? (Do you mean message?)
Me: Oh, yeah.

-Dagny Kelsey

Little Shirts (Be Forewarned)

Little shirt.

While a missionary in Brazil, a new American missionary got tricked into telling members that we all need to go buy "camisinhas" (camisa=shirt, inha=little) to give to kids at church. Little did he know that "camisinha" is slang for condom. 

-Kellen Petersen

Matters of Life and Death

Answer: Death Valley.

Learning to speak Portuguese can be especially frustrating when you sit next to a know-it-all native Spanish speaker. I couldn't help but smile when my classmate, intending to ask a native Brazilian where she lived ("de onde você mora?"), instead asked, "de onde você morre?" ("Where did you die?").

-Tracy Thorsen

Eating Poop

Notice the lack of coconuts (and poop).

In Brazil:

Me: Eu não gosto de comer cocô. (I don't like to eat poop.)
Brazilian: Não? Eu acho que ninguém gosta! (No? I don't think anyone does!)
Me (looking confused): Ohhh. That's right. Eu não gosto de comer coco. (I don't like to eat coconut.)

-Dagny Kelsey