Two Smelling (or Smelly?) Wives

It's been ages since the last post, but I heard such a good one yesterday that I had to share:

My friend and her husband were having a difficult conversation with their Chinese hosts about how they needed to move out, and the man kept saying, "You can smell with my wife?" and "You and my wife can smell together?"

There were ten minutes of awkward back-and-forth conversation while they tried to figure out what he meant until finally they realized that instead of "smell," he meant "smile." Apparently that was his way of saying that they could agree and be satisfied.

Google Translate Comedy

I can't cease to be amused by this:

Give Crap for Christmas

A few weeks ago, in the car with Michael, I saw this (or some version of it):





Michelle: "Gift wrap wonderland, huh."
Michael: "Huh?"
Michelle: "That's what it said on the ad for The Container Store."
Michael: "Why would they call it that?"
Michelle: "For Christmas . . . ? What do you mean?"
Michael: "Give crap wonderland?"
Michelle: "Ah, no. Gift. Wrap. Wonderland."
Michael: "Yeah, that makes more sense."

Avoid Molesting

My brother served a Spanish-speaking religious mission in San Diego, then moved to Utah. Shortly afterward he was working late one night, and his female manager offered him a ride home since he didn't have a car. He said, "Are you sure? I don't want to molest you." He was mortified and explained about the use of "molestar" as soon as he realized the mistake, but they were very uncomfortable around each other for a few days.

Evil Chinese Dumplings

Once when the missionaries were speaking in church, one talked about the "wanton evilness of the world," except he pronounced it WONTON. Luckily we were sitting in the foyer because I started laughing so hard I ended up coughing and choking thinking about evil Chinese dumplings.

-Jennifer Sauls

Masseuse Missionaries

Getting ready to give a massage.

As a missionary teaching in Portugese:

Me: Temos uma massagem para voce. (We have a massage for you.)
Other missionary: Quer dizer mensagem? (Do you mean message?)
Me: Oh, yeah.

-Dagny Kelsey

Chubby with a Good Constitution

Mixing languages can make for some pretty humorous situations, such as the following from Love Actually (sorry for the bad language in the first clip and the horrible quality of the second):











Thanks to Michael Tsai for the submission.