Tuesday, September 18, 2012
My brother served a Spanish-speaking religious mission in San Diego, then moved to Utah. Shortly afterward he was working late one night, and his female manager offered him a ride home since he didn't have a car. He said, "Are you sure? I don't want to molest you." He was mortified and explained about the use of "molestar" as soon as he realized the mistake, but they were very uncomfortable around each other for a few days.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
|Getting ready to give a massage.|
Me: Temos uma massagem para voce. (We have a massage for you.)
Other missionary: Quer dizer mensagem? (Do you mean message?)
Me: Oh, yeah.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Mixing languages can make for some pretty humorous situations, such as the following from Love Actually (sorry for the bad language in the first clip and the horrible quality of the second):
Thanks to Michael Tsai for the submission.
Thanks to Michael Tsai for the submission.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
|Is Diverticulitis what you get from eating Korean food?|
To help with our Korean, (Google Translate isn't always the best), email us at blabbergastedblog AT gmail DOT com. Also, sorry for the delay in posts. Hopefully we'll be back up and posting regularly. Please send us your stories or ask your friends for stories to share with us!
Monday, May 28, 2012
|Did you say what I think you just said?|
Friday, May 25, 2012
|Not a flea.|
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
While teaching in Spanish about Peter's conversation with Christ, I accurately said, "Feed my sheep" the first two times, but the third time, "sheep" ("ovejas") came out as "viejas." According to my words, Peter was told to feed "my old women."
Monday, May 14, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
One missionary was talking to someone about the Mormon church and he wanted to say, "We have a lot of people in the church." Instead of saying, "Žmonių" ("people"), he said, "Žmonų," so his claim turned into, "We have a lot of wives."
|Either a little devil or a child star . . .|
“You did that when you were a kid?”
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
During my first week as a missionary in northern Argentina, I discovered that the Spanish I learned in five years of Spanish class didn't necessarily line up with colloquial usage. I found this out when I approached a man sitting in front of his house, and asked if my companion and I could share a message with his family. He protested that he didn't have time, and I asked, "¿Podríamos pasar por su casa para discutir el tema más adelante?" I thought I had asked if we could stop by to discuss our message later, but after we left, my companion informed me that the word I thought meant "discuss" meant "argue" instead.
Monday, May 7, 2012
A companion and I were held up at knifepoint one night in Spain. My very frightened companion called our district leader (a native Spaniard) to tell him what happened.
What she meant to say was, "Un hombre nos atacó con un cuchillo muy grande!" ("A man attacked us with a big knife!")
What she actually said was, "Un hombre nos atacó con una cuchara muy grande!" ("A man attacked us with a big spoon!")
His response: "So? What's the problem?"
Friday, May 4, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
“I’ll get you something. What do you like to drink?”
“I like to drink hot peanuts.”
Friday, April 20, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
|Directed to the couch.|
Upon completion of the meal, the mother of the family pushed back her chair and said, "I'm going to go take a nap in my room."
A newer missionary responded: "I'll come with."
The father of the family immediately responded with, "No, you won't!"
Friday, April 13, 2012
One Sunday during church in Italy, a newer American missionary was blessing the bread for the sacrament. In Italian, the sacramental blessing on the bread should be said:
"Ti chiediamo . . . di benedire e santificare questo pane . . ."
(We ask thee . . . to bless and sanctify this bread . . .)
However, as new missionaries tend to do, he struggled with the pronunciation of "pane," thus saying:
"Ti chiediamo . . . di benedire e santificare questo pene . . ."
(We ask thee . . . to bless and sanctify this penis . . .)
Needless to say, he was asked to start over.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I knew a missionary in Taiwan who meant to ask if he could use the restroom (xǐshǒujiān or 洗手間), but mixed up the two similar sounding words and said "baptism store" (shòuxǐ diàn or 受洗店) instead.
Monday, April 9, 2012
|The never-solved problem.|
-Melissa Stringham (mystery solved!)
Friday, April 6, 2012
|To help you describe what weather.|
-Crystal from A Heaven on Earth
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
|Just as likely to see Putin riding a shark.|
Friday, March 30, 2012
While on a Spanish-speaking Mormon mission, my companion and I began making small talk with a twenty-something Hispanic man we didn't know. While we were talking, a woman came out of the house. The man said something to her, and my companion asked who she was. When the man said it was his girlfriend, my companion, intending a platitude equivalent to "Oh, cool!" said "Que buena!" which is more like, "Wow, she's hot!" The man then glowered and asked what that was supposed to mean. After a quick explanation, we ended the encounter quickly and left.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
-Anonymous (you know who you are)
Monday, March 26, 2012
A missionary told his new companion to pronounce the "nacht" in "Nachtbar" (neighbor) with a strong K, which made it into "naked bar." The new companion asked everyone to refer any naked bars they knew of. Even though the members kept correcting him, the word had been reenforced enough that he just continued saying it that way.
Friday, March 23, 2012
There was a brand new missionary to Quebec and as is often the custom he was asked to introduce himself to the congregation at church. He said 'Bonjour, je m'appelle Elder Smith et je suis 'new'." In his nervousness he had forgotten the French word for new, which is "nouveau" and had unfortunately substituted it with the English word "new." The entire congregation erupted into a tremendous laugh at hearing the Elder say he was "naked."
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
|Are you choking or can I offer some other kind of support?|
It is reported that an experienced missionary in the French missions sometimes picked up a brand new junior companion at the train station, pretending to have such a raspy voice and sore throat that he needed the new man to request cough drops from the pharmacist. The new guy, not yet having a vocabulary that included medicinal terms, carefully practiced what he was told was the French word for cough drops: "soutien-gorge" (literally: "support-throat"). The newcomer would approach the counter and announce that he was in need of some very strong, very powerful soutiens-gorges, while the senior missionary would watch from a distance . . . where he could laugh at the red-faced younger missionary who had to endure the pharmacist's sign-language explanation that a soutien-gorge was a woman's brassiere.
Monday, March 19, 2012
|Get away as fast as you can!|
Friday, March 16, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
|A lecturing German caught in bronze.|
Luckily I liked Germany so much anyway that I moved there later.
Monday, March 12, 2012
|What kind of experience is Japanese food?|
Friday, March 9, 2012
|A true banana.|
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
|"Nurse" in German.|
"What did you say to him?" I asked.
"Piss in the bucket!" she said proudly.
Monday, March 5, 2012
|Dodge Ball Night.|
Friday, March 2, 2012
|Good night kiss/pillow.|
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
|Vintage family photos in France.|
I was in French class (which is basically language arts). We were reading a story out loud, and it was my turn to read. Everything was going fine until I pronounced "baiser" like "baisser." This wouldn't have been too big a deal, except the fact that "baiser" can be the F-bomb in French. Oops!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
|Which do you want: plate or banana?|
Monday, February 20, 2012
During a layover in Madrid, I decided to take my suitcase with me on a quick walking tour of the city. I successfully boarded the right train going in the direction of the city center, but when I got off the train, I couldn't find an exit anywhere. The only signs I could see had an arrow and "Salidas." Muttering to myself, I said, "I don't want to go to Salidas! I want to get out of here!" Only after quite a bit of wandering did I realize that "Salidas" means "exits."
Friday, February 17, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
|Still hiding from the sexy woman.|
Friday, February 10, 2012
|Quite the horsey hair.|
She was actually using the word "chevaux": "Your horses--your horses--so pretty, your horses!"
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
|Didn't think teddy bears would embarrass you.|
your kids proper pronunciation can be more important than you think. We
were at the store and my daughter yelled: "Dad, check out
My daughter: "These little titties! Aren't they cute?"
Me (I notice she's pointing at little teddy bears): "Oh . . . those teddies? [Pronouncing it loud and slow as I try to shuffle her away]. Yeah, they're cute."
My daughter (walking away and SUPER loud): "Yeah Dad, those titties are way cute."
Monday, February 6, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
|Dora: Expanding your children's vocabulary since 2000.|
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
|Was his tongue this long?|
Monday, January 30, 2012
|Scoop that poop.|
Friday, January 27, 2012
|Answer: Death Valley.|
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
|Knit your own poulet.|
Monday, January 23, 2012